The Valley Girls have an impromptu conversation about what they’ve been up to. It’s optimal that this is performed with a valley accent similar to Lilah Gibney.

THE VALLEY GIRLS

And I wonder right, like why did I literally order the avocado toast-eh? Like I just wasn’t ready for it- because it literally, on-god, had this mildew taste to it the last time I went-tttt…

But sweetie, you ordered it again too. Today.

I know, but I also ordered the omelet here. Thank god, cause I needed this like last little moment of peace before I go to work today or else I’d be donzo.

Okay slay for that, but- what’s the tea?

-My boss has been working me too hard like she’s for real a hooker, like I’m going to get arrested soon kind of testing-me-type-shit. She’s actually gag-me-with-a-spoon, crazy. I’m so stressed, it’s not even funny. She won’t let me off next week.

Wait, CABO????!!!!??

CABO!!! She doesn’t care, she said that I need to have my priorities straight- or said that I need to straighten my priorities, I don’t know- she needs to get on her meds QUICK!

I can’t believe that you might be missing my birthday, that’s actually my 13th reason- I didn’t know that your boss was a monster. Like a literal MONSTER.

Don’t worry angel, I’ll talk to her more. If she doesn’t budge, I’ll make moves with her boyfriend or something. It’s not a big deal, her and her little rat boyfriend.

THE GIRLS ARE SULLEN.

It’s just so hard, working. Why did no one tell us this, who even decided that work needed to be a thing? I’m clocked out until Cabo, on god.

It’s so boring now, Ari literally told me he might apply for his masters cause he’s so bored-eh.

Well I started this new thing, like. It’s where- I heard Kim Kardashian does it too- when I’m eating and instead of watching a TV show or going on my phone to text Brad, I just sit there. And eat in silence. And It’s been pretty peaceful so far, I mean like all the models do it so I thought why shouldn’t I- it’s like how they get so skinny. But now there’s this new problem I have, where like every time I’m in silence, I start to cry.

A PAUSE.

No, like I love that for you. Have you been sleeping good?

Yeah, pretty often.

People say that I’m a nut job about sleep, and I’m like you’re totally right. I mean, I totally get the vibe, but my best friend at the time said to me they’ll sleep when they’re dead. And it was so funny at the time, at the time, but then they killed themselves at 14. So that’s why, I like try to ask you if you’re getting 8 hours, a lot of the time.

No, like I totally get it. My sister had the same problem, and it was actually so traumatizing. Like one night in the ER, the nurse, kinda cute, but he was asking me questions and then asked me how was she like before this? after she had tried to… and you know what I told him? I was like I don’t even remember what she was like before…

A PAUSE.

You being stuck with a nurse in your sister’s ER whose just being hot, like that’s totallyyyyyy a vibeeeeee-ehhhh.